Cornwall for the Cornish ?

All nationalism is stupid.

At the BNP end of the spectrum, in all its racist and fascist varieties it is repugnant. In its Little Englander, xenophobic and small minded varieties it is infuriating and depressing. And then in its hopeless eccentric lost cause variety it is plain hilarious.

Which is why I have included in full this statement from the Cornish National Liberation Army. Funny at the moment , but just imagine for a minute that the arseholes who wrote this ever actually took power. The regime would look like a fourth reich in miniature complete with 'incomers' taking the place of Jews.

There's not much of a Black or Asian community in Cornwall, but just imagine if some of these 'incomers' were non-Aryan, or that it was Ainsley Harriot rather than Rick Stein who had a restaurant there. This whole business would seem a bit less comic then.

Any similarities to Reg's speech from Monty Python's People's Front of Judea are I'm sure coincidental - a sense of humour is probably not part of these guys' arsenal:

Following a recent meeting between members of the AN GOF militant organisation (originally founded in 1980 and reformed in 2007) and the Cornish National Liberation Army it has been agreed to stand both Organisations down and to reform as the CORNISH NATIONAL LIBERATION ARMY. The CNLA will maintain an east and west division in Kernow.

The previous AN GOF programme to remove all flags of St. George (white with a red cross) from our Country of Cornwall (Kernow) will be incorporated into the new tactical objectives plan.

We are pleased to announce substantial funding from the other Celtic Countries and from Irish groups in the United States of America. Our growing membership, a combination of younger and more experienced patriots, operating in devolved groups under the control of a central Council have received training from members of the Free Wales Army (FWA), the Scottish National Liberation Army (SNLA) and members of the Irish National Liberation Army (INLA) and the now defunct Provisional Irish Republican Army (Provo IRA). We have recruited members from one of these organisations into the CNLA and hope others will follow. We do have limited weapons available but intend to reply on more controlled methods to achieve our aims.

1. RICK STEIN AND PADSTOW (PADSTEIN)
Two of our members have been approached by Cornish residents of the town regarding the problems caused by Stein. He owns businesses at: The Seafood Restaurant, St. Petroc´s Hotel, The Cafe and Stein´s Shop, The Seafood School, Fish and Chips and Deli and The St. Edmund´s Hotel.
Recently at the Obby Oss Day he was rough handled by local Cornish Nationals sickened at his presence in our Country whilst he was in a local Public House. He will deny all knowledge of this for fear of bad publicity to his business interests although what happened was witnessed by many.
In a recent letter to Tony Rickard, a local protest leader (who has no connection with the CNLA at all) he stated that other businesses ´have benefited from the rosy glow of (Stein´s) publicity´.They have not and many have witnessed the effect Stein has had in our Cornish port of Padstow. We feel that the time must now be here for Stein to feel the ´rosy glow´of a real fire and so we declare his businesses, him and his clients and their transport a bone fide target.

2. JAMIE OLIVER AND WATERGATE BAY
We have seen the effects of this arrogant English man in our Country causing property prices to swell. We also declare this man, his business and the Watergate Bay Hotel, clients and cars bone fide targets.

3. THE ENGLISH FLAG OF ST. GEORGE
This English flag (white with a red cross) has no place in Kernow no more than it does in Scotland, Wales or Ireland. Its presence insults many Cornish people some of whom are afraid to say as much. It is a flagrant reminder of the 1549 Cornish Holocaust and is used by our enemies, the British National Party and the Unionist parties in the North of Ireland. The now defunct An Gof organisation removed such flags at Tresillian and on the Bodmin Moor cafes and elsewhere and are pleased to note that the untarnished and non Imperialistic flag of St Piran (black with a white cross) is now seen on the Moors. This St. Piran´s flag is a guarantee of safety whilst those flying the Flag of St. George (white with a red cross) are bone fide targets of the CNLA be such flyers English incomers, misinformed Cornish Nationals or Tourists. To fly this flag is an invitation for our devolved operatives to take action and other damage to property cannot be ruled out.

Whilst we greatly admire and respect the efforts of Cornish Nationals who seek change through moderate means, we note that previous members of the IRA are now in power in the North of Ireland showing that there is a place for military action. Therefore we may use direct means to underline the efforts of moderate Cornish Nationals.

Kernow Bys Vyken !

signed: The Council of the Cornish National Liberation Army